Staying Positive and Reuniting

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Portion of an interview with a mom who reunited with her daughter after overcoming substance abuse. Names have been changed and details have been altered to protect the family.

  1. We realize you have been through a challenging journey in being reunified with your child – will you share with us a little about your story?

“I was addicted to cocaine and so I lost my baby. I was stubborn and thought I wasn’t addicted. Then CASA Linda came into my life, she was such a positive person and I still talk to her. She gave me the boost my baby and I needed. She always stayed positive. It is a wonderful thing, she is still there if I need someone to talk too and I still talk to her every couple of weeks. The help and support she provided me was just great. My child will be three next month and I wouldn’t have her without the help of CASA Linda.”

  1. What is the greatest impact CASA had on the case or in working with your child?

“CASA Linda was just so supportive of me and my baby. She was just that extra person to check on me and make sure I was okay. She was always supportive and positive of me and I think you should give her to all of your hard cases.”

  1. Can you think of a specific example where CASA really helped or made an impact?

“When I had to go to court and I was away from my daughter, CASA Linda wrote these positive notes for me and she told me not to give up. She told me to keep fighting and she was just so positive. From the beginning, she realized I was trying to do what I needed to do to get my daughter back and she gave me a chance. Even when I sometimes gave up on myself she was there. It was great just to have that person in  my corner encouraging me and seeing that I was doing well. It meant a lot.”

4. What did you think about CASA Linda in the beginning?

“In the beginning I just thought of her as one more person who was going to tell me what to do, one more person who was going to put me down, one more person who was going to keep me away from my baby…but actually it turned out as quite the opposite. She gave me more strength to do what I needed to do and gave me the support to get my child back.”

5. Is there something CASA Linda could have done to make things better?

“I wish I had met CASA Linda earlier. I remember the first time she came to see me; she drove for hours. I couldn’t believe it. It would have been nice to have someone so positive right from the start; someone to tell me, if you do the right thing, then I’m in your corner.”

Portion of an interview with a mom who reunited with her daughter after overcoming substance abuse. Names have been changed and details have been altered to protect the family.


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.

When Extended Family Are Caregivers

In 2016, a two and half year old Jack was placed with his great aunt. His mom had mental health and substance abuse issues and she agreed to an identified surrender to her aunt. Everything was on schedule for a smooth adoption until the birth father suddenly re-emerged in the child’s life, which stalled the plans for permanency. CASA Deena met with the birth father, but he didn’t make any meaningful effort to regain custody of his son, so that adoption process continued. CASA Deena has been Jack’s advocate at every step of the way arguing in court that “not only was the aunt’s home safe, it was the only home that Jack had ever known.” Thankfully, the family courts agreed and Jack, his aunt, and CASA Deena are all excited for the adoption ceremony, which will occur in just a few short months.

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According to the brief Adoption and Guardianship for Children in Kinship Foster Care by Generations United and the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, “…the foster care system’s reliance on grandparents and other extended family members to care for children is increasing each year,” in the U.S. The brief continues, “…research shows that kinship foster care is generally better for children than non-related foster care. Children in kinship foster care experience fewer placement changes, more stability, better behavioral and mental health outcomes, and are more likely to report that they “always feel loved.” [l] Children raised by kinship foster parents keep their connections to brothers, sisters, extended family and community, and their cultural identities. [2] Due in part to this research, a higher percentage of children are cared for by relatives in foster care than ever before.”

Children in kinship foster care are more likely to find a permanent home than children in non-related foster care. [3] In 2017, about 35% of all children adopted from foster care were adopted by relatives and 10% of children who exited foster care, exited into guardianships. [4]

Additionally, the 2017 Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) complied by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau indicates that 32% of all children in foster care in the U.S. (140,675 children) were with relatives, representing and increase over the last 10 years of about 9%. [5]

While the reporting on kinship care is positive news for the children in foster care who are living with relatives, it is important to note that AFCARS also reports nearly half (46%) of children and youth in foster care live with non-relatives, 6% reside in group homes and 7% live in institutions. So while the 9% increase in children living with relatives is substantial, many more children are still in need of family members who can take on the role of caregiver.

1 Generations United (2016). Children Thrive in Grandfamilies. Retrieved http://www.grandfamilies.org/PortalsI0/16-Children-Thrive-inGrandfamilies. pdf
2 lbid.
3 Ibid.
4 Ibid.
5 AFCARS Report (2018). Retrieved www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/afcarsreport25.pdfAFCARS


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.

 

May Is Foster Care Awareness Month

May is National Foster Care Month, when we shine a light on the nearly 1,000 children and youth living in foster care in Atlantic and Cape May Counties and the 13,000 children who face the same fate statewide. Every day, CASA for Children of Atlantic and Cape May Counties and the network of CASA programs throughout New Jersey recruit, train and support members of our community who advocate on behalf of children and youth living in foster care. We work to ensure that these children have access to resources and services that will improve their outcomes, raise awareness of the obstacles they face and help them overcome those obstacles.

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Sometimes our work feels like an uphill battle, and not every story ends with a positive outcome. But, we are energized and encouraged by the success stories that we do see – the girl who catches up academically with her class even after losing four months of school because she moved three times in the last year, or the teen who receives a scholarship even though only 20% of foster youth even go to college, or the boy who is finally reunited with his parents after a year in care because they received the help that they so desperately needed.

These success stories are possible when caring adults are active in a foster youth’s life. With a supportive team, that includes child welfare professionals, teachers, therapists, foster families, the family courts, and Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteers, the foster youth can achieve all of their hopes and dreams. This whole team is crucial to ensuring that foster youth reach their fullest potential.

So this May, consider how you could fit into a team helping foster youth succeed. Could you fill a direct service role of CASA volunteer, youth mentor, or foster parent? Would you rather donate goods or services to youth living in care, attend or host a fundraising event that supports foster youth, or, lend a helping-hand to a foster parent or caregiver?

Your role can be big or small. At the very least, consider joining the conversation. Talk to friends, family and colleagues about the obstacles facing foster youth and ways that our community can work together to provide support systems for them. Most importantly, understand that children enter foster care through no fault of their own and the challenges that place children in care affect every social, economic and geographic community. No one is immune, and no one should face these challenges alone.

 


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.

 

A Natural Advocate

Bendelon is a natural advocate for children.  Her career as a teacher and social worker in the schools prepared her well for her role as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA).

“I saw how many of foster children’s issues weren’t being addressed, mostly because the case workers have so much on their plates,” says CASA Bendelon. “Some of the children suffered from low self esteem and may have trouble reaching their full potential.”

Being a CASA has been a way of Bendelon continuing her lifelong work of helping children. Her first case was very gratifying because the child, who was given up at birth, was adopted by his foster parents. The child wouldn’t endure what so many others in the system do – being shifted from one situation to the next. “I was happy he ended up with the only ‘parents’ he had known since birth. That was a positive outcome,” says CASA Bendelon.

Her most recent case involves three children from the same family.  They are all on track to be adopted by their foster families. She is working with the families so that the children get to see each other even though the two youngest are with one family and the oldest is living with another.

Moral Development

CASA Bendelon went to the school of the thirteen year-old boy, “I told him I was his advocate. I was here for him,” she says.  “He really opened up to me and asked me tough questions about his birth mother. I told him she loved him enough to give him a chance with his prospective adoptive parents.”  The boy was really self aware and showed appreciation for the foster parents, who are in the process of adopting him. CASA Bendelon shared with him that “where you start doesn’t have to be where you end.”  She is confident he has a chance for a better life.

“I am a people person. It helps me since CASA’s have to talk to many people in advocating for the children,” CASA Bendelon says. She thinks being committed to the well being of the children first and foremost is paramount and sometimes that means being assertive, too.  Echoing a CASA theme, she says, “I am here for the child.”

 


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.

 

We All Have a Role to Play in Ending Child Abuse

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

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By the time you finish reading this, more than 30 cases of child abuse will be reported to authorities nationwide. By the end of today, that number will swell past 9,000. Four of those children will die at the hands of their abuser. All in a single day.

When we take stock of these sobering statistics it is easy to be overwhelmed and to ask, “What can I possibly do to make a difference?”

The answer is that everybody can play a role in preventing child abuse and neglect by becoming advocates for children. Donate money, offer pro-bono support, become a mentor, or advocate with organizations that help children and families, like Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) for Children.

CASA advocates stand up for abused and neglected children who are now living in foster care. CASA volunteers are people just like you – teachers, business people, retirees, grandparents who are simply willing to help a child in need. These advocates give children a voice in an overburdened child welfare system and can help break the cycle of abuse and neglect by helping children find safe, permanent homes as quickly as possible.

Children with a CASA are half as likely to re-enter the foster care system, and have improved educational achievement – making a profound difference in the lives of hundreds of thousands of abused and neglected children across the country and nearly 700 children right here in Atlantic and Cape May Counties. Nevertheless, the increased number of children in care and the great need for advocates leaves many children without an advocate to fight for their rights.

While not everyone can be a CASA volunteer, everyone can be a child advocate.

Here are some steps you can take to make our community safer for our children: Keep the child abuse hotline number nearby, 1-800 NJ Abuse. If you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, you can report your suspicions confidentially; Donate or volunteer for a social service agency that helps children who have been abused or neglected, and; Educate yourself – and others – about the devastating toll that abuse and neglect take on children and our society as a whole.

If abused and neglected children do not get the proper support, they are more likely to drop out of school, end up homeless, and become involved in crime and drugs. Advocacy efforts will not only help end child abuse, it will improve our community where we live, work and play.

When we work together to protect vulnerable children, it literally saves lives. We all have a role to play. What will yours be?


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.

 

The Brightest Moments: Seeing the Children in a Good Situation

Before moving to Cape May in 2014, children occupied a central part of Sarah’s life in northern New Jersey, where she was an elementary school teacher and mother of five children. When she retired and moved more permanently to southeastern New Jersey, she considered how she could continue to influence children’s lives as a volunteer. Sarah got that answer one day in church when she heard a discussion about organizations the church supported and what they did. Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) for Children was one those organizations.

Shortly after that, Sarah read a newspaper article about CASA and decided to attend an information session. Since then she has helped navigate the cases of nine children living in foster care. “Teachers bring the ability to coordinate with many different parties in the best interests of children’s academic success. That skill translates well when working as a CASA volunteer who must coordinate between the child, parents, resource parents, the court and case workers among others to find the best possible plan for the child,” said Sarah.

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Sarah notes that building relationships is key to fostering trust. Trust ensures that all parties involved feel comfortable that the recommendations CASA’s make are the best possible for the child. She often asks herself the question, “Did I help to break the cycle so this child has an opportunity for a better life?”

Sarah admits she has learned about the hurdles these children face. “I lived and taught in an affluent area and until you sit with people in more difficult circumstances, you can’t really understand their struggles,” she said.

Sarah’s brightest moments are when she sees the children end up in a good situation – attending an adoption ceremony or seeing children reunited with parents who have overcome their obstacles.

Now as a Peer Coach, Sarah expands her sphere of influence by mentoring other new advocates as they begin their first cases. She loves that being a CASA is a hands-on activity, actually working with the children of Cape May and Atlantic Counties. “If you are a people person and like building relationships and meeting people, then CASA may be a volunteer opportunity that appeals to you,” Sarah said.

She sometimes thinks she gets more out of being a CASA than the children she serves. Nine children, who are now in more stable situations – adopted or with birth parents – who may just think otherwise.

 


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.

Invested in Her Well Being

A few year’s ago, Melissa attended a CASA breakfast at which a young child
spoke. He shared his experience with Court Appointed Special Advocate’s and the
difference a CASA made in bringing some stability to his life. Melissa, who has four
daughters, couldn’t imagine children not having the security of knowing that someone
was invested in their well being. She decided she could offer that to children who
needed advocacy as a CASA volunteer.

“People sometimes think that being a CASA requires a lot but it really just requires that
you are there for the child…that you are caring and committed to that role in the child’s
life,” Melissa said.

Melissa shared an experience with a nine year-old girl who was one of her first cases.
The child had a violin concert at school. Melissa attended and sat in the audience,
clapping for the performance, “I wanted to make sure she knew that someone was
there for her when she looked out into the audience. Her face brightened when she
saw me and she whispered to the little girl pointing to me. That’s when I thought, ok, I
am making a difference in her life right now.”

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Her next case has had its challenges but it is one that Melissa feels uniquely equipped
to handle. “I have raised four daughters, so when I was assigned a 17-year-old, I drew
on my personal experiences of having four teen-aged girls in the house!”

Melissa also drew upon her experiences as a health coach. She clarified that you can’t
always tell teenagers what to do but you can coach them and guide them. Melissa
asked the teen-aged girl, “What are your goals and what are the next steps in reaching
those goals.” She notes that it is harder with teenagers who have bounced around the
system, often from one situation to the next. Many don’t have the parental guidance
and the security to draw upon in making decisions or in reacting to day-to-day
situations.

“Sometimes your instincts are to direct the child to do what you think is best for them,
but you have to step back, listen and understand,” Melissa said. ” CASA’s have an
important role to play as advocate and procedures to follow. But everyone else has a
role, too. You learn that you can offer stability and perspective in the best interests of
the child yet sometimes you can’t solve every problem. That’s okay, you can still be there
for that child during a time of transition.”

Melissa’s first child, the violin player, was reunified with her parents. “The hard part is
not knowing what the future will bring for that child. I hope I made a difference for the
window of time I was her advocate—that she knows I was invested in her well being,”
Melissa said.


Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Children’s mission to speak on behalf of abused and neglected children is central to fulfilling society’s most fundamental obligation to protect a child’s right to be safe, treated with respect and to help them reach their fullest potential. For more information about CASA, visit AtlanticCapeCASA.org.